


Crash, Fall Down

by nationalnobody



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cashton, Idk what to tag this as, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 09:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2382992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nationalnobody/pseuds/nationalnobody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum wishes Ashton had been the sun and not a minute star but not all wishes are granted, not even if you wish upon a shooting star.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crash, Fall Down

I only wanted to bury my hands into the Milky Way but instead I fell right through. I tumbled and rolled until I crashed into you; _or was it you who fell into me?_

I recall you being someone who also wanted only a little but ended up getting way too much. I recall you being like me.

When I saw you I thought that you didn’t belong here, you belonged with the sun. I thought perhaps, maybe, you _were_ the sun.

_Why were you not the sun?_

I remember reaching out to touch you but you were just centimetres out of my grasp. That distance between us. It left me upset and wanting yet another thing it seemed I could not have…

Several weeks passed without us noticing and by then I had finally managed to reach you, a miracle in itself. You were soft to the touch and sent a certain type of sadness down my spine that I had yet to figure out.

Consciously I thought that you really were one of a kind and that I was unbelievably lucky to have even met you. Then, almost as abrupt as your arrival, you began falling again but this time it was _away_ from me.

_Why did you have to leave?_

_“Calum!”_ You shouted, voice panicked, as you began to slip. I remember the way you looked as the atmosphere around you, _or was it simply you,_ began to tilt and I remember feeling as if I was tilting as well. I remember desperately wishing that you really were the sun so that you wouldn’t ever have to leave.

I didn’t know what to do, _I still don’t,_ so I tried reaching for you like I did before but this time, somehow, it didn’t work.

_Why didn’t it work?_

I tried grabbing your hand but your fingers slipped right through mine and I moved back in shock wondering _how_ that had just happened. You looked just as shaken, hands quivering as your hazel eyes looked my way.

I wish I never saw those eyes.

My eyes locked on yours and I didn’t quite register it at the time but I had begun hysterically shouting into the void.

_“Ash! Hold on-I-Ashton!”_ The yelling didn’t cease, it only continued.

I watched as you fell, as you crashed down to Earth. I remember wondering whether it was possible for me to just crash with you because I didn’t think I could ever go on without you.

I tried my hardest to fall with you but I couldn’t. I was stuck on my star and it would not tilt, it would not waver, it simply remained motionless as it always had.

Your screams were so _, so_ loud and sometimes I feel as if I can still hear them. Heart in my throat, I watched you descend. You crashed into the Earth and nobody noticed. Nobody knew. Nobody heard your final scream, _“I love you!”_

Nobody but me.

It was as if you never existed and I dreaded the mere thought of that. Now however, I often find myself wishing you never existed so that this unbearable ache in my chest could go away.

_Why won’t it go away?_

My heart’s been torn in two and the bleeding has yet to stop. Though bandages won’t work, nor will surgery. For this heart is destined to bleed until it feels content and I fear that, that may be never.

**Author's Note:**

> literally what is this idek what i was thinking when i wrote this (╯︵╰,)  
> [this was originally meant to be part of my drabble series but i decided anything over 500 words would be a separate work]


End file.
